Lenten Blog – Day 14 – Baptismal Covenant, Part 2 of Part 1

I prided myself on being a “good kid.”  One of those you can count on.  I remember when I was nine or ten I would stand in the Ballard lobby area and open doors for people.

Being nice was instilled in me from a young age.  Was this something that was intrinsic in my upbringing or just something I learned going along?

Nice guys do, indeed, often finish last – and we often get “friend zoned” during those awkward high school years when the hot girl(s) we’re attracted to are only interested in the bad boys or the hot clueless guys and I’m stuck listening to them lament that so-and-so doesn’t like them, or doesn’t take them out anywhere and blah blah blah.

So, yeah, it’s not all peaches and cream being the nice guy, the good kid, the one “everyone can count on” because sometimes you don’t want to be nice, or good, or countable on.  Sometimes you want to skip church or tell your friend you don’t have time to talk (or most likely listen) and sometimes you just want to eat cinnamon rolls, by yourself, while watching terrible films – but I digress.

When I was 16 or 17 and squarely in my “good kid” phase I had made a number of friends with kids at church.  One of the kids was a gal by the name of Katy.  She was completely and totally adorable and just a year or two younger than me.  I liked her.  A lot.  If we could have dated, I would have been happy with that.  She had started going to our local church youth group and she had gone to our regional church functions and she was fun and sweet and she saw something in me that she liked.  Maybe my “goodness?”  (((shrug)))

As she delved deeper into her faith she decided she wanted to be baptized and asked me to be her Godfather.  How could I refuse her?  But when I asked the priest if we could be boy-friend/girl-friend after I pledged to be her Godfather he said:  “No.”  (Now, of course, 30+ years later I realize that’s probably not in any sort of biblical or liturgical writings strictly forbidding this but, yeah, at the time it probably sounded a bit sketchy.)  So I bit my tongue and did the right thing and on that wonderful Sunday morning (maybe Easter?) I pledged to be her Godfather and to see that she was brought up in the Christian faith and life.

See, it says so RIGHT HERE:

When all have been presented the Celebrant asks the parents and
godparents

Will you be responsible for seeing that the child you present
is brought up in the Christian faith and life?

Parents and Godparents

I will, with God's help.

AND THIS!

Celebrant

Will you by your prayers and witness help this child to grow
into the full stature of Christ?

Parents and Godparents

I will, with God's help.

To make a long story short, or to keep this blog at a reasonable length, I failed.  Failed.  Failed.

Katy and I stayed friends through the rest of high school but then life interrupts and things happen and excuses are made and we completely and totally lost touch.

I have very few regrets in life and not following through with the above is one of them (I even included this, kind of, in the film I made:  “Daylight Saving Time” – check it out on Vimeo.com).

Sure, maybe I didn’t truly comprehend what I was getting into when I said I would be her Godfather.  Maybe the depth of the pledge skitted along the surface like a skinny stone on water.  Maybe I still hoped we’d date.  I don’t know.  I’ve run out of excuses.

Years went by and I lost touch with that entire group of friends.  Babies were born and raised.  Jobs were won and lost and I wondered about Katy and my lack of commitment.

Then, finally, I made the effort.  A chance meeting or conversation with one of the group of friends lead to a phone number or an e-mail and I called or e-mailed her.

It would have been great if after losing touch for 20+ years I found her to be a good solid Christian living the good life and accomplishing all those things that I pledged to do (WITH GOD’S HELP FOR GOD SAKES!).

Alas, she had struggles.  She had run into some hard times and things had been rough.  Even if I wasn’t her Godfather at least I could have been the ear on the other end of the phone to listen or help in SOME way.  You know, that whole “nice guy” thing that I aspired to be.  Could I have eased a burden?  Could I have helped?  Could I have given some half-assed advice?  Could I have just BEEN THERE?  I sure as hell could have…but I wasn’t.

She still lived nearby and we planned to meet but, even then, I failed on that.  It was as if it was all so much easier to kind of pretend that it never happened, though the hole in my spiritual heart reminded me.

Years passed from those conversations and I took solace in her words of “That’s okay.”  Sure, at 15 or 16 she probably didn’t fully understand the commitment found in baptism and I, certainly didn’t fully understand the commitment found in being a Godfather.

Eventually we found each other on Facebook and have been Facebook friends since.

Have I seen her in person in 30+ years?  Maybe it’s about time I stepped up.