Abby Lee Miller (Dance Moms) and the Abuse of Dance

Please Note:  I was going to insert a lot of interest and cool photos with snarky comments underneath each one but, for some reason, it will not load photos.  Sorry, you're just stuck with...words....

There was an episode of “Mythbusters” where they strapped a large iron “cow-catcher” on the front of an enforced semi-truck and plowed it through two lines of cars at full speed. This amazing moment was caught on multiple cameras and shown in super high speed slow motion – over and over and over again.  It was great to see because from every angle you could see the complete destruction of these vehicles.  Like a hot truck knife through cars of butter.  Heck, they could have just shown it for 40 minutes straight and I would still be fascinated.  And that’s how car crashes work.

 

Welcome to the new season of “Dance Moms” – one of those reality shows I barely watch as I wander through the living room or hear in the background while I try to beat Michelle’s high score on “Bejeweled”  (not ever going to happen – but I’ll try).  This reality show, like the others that Miriam and Michelle watch are, pretty much, in one ear-right out the other with me.  I know most of the players and understand the basic plotting and storylines but committed to watching this car wreck?  No, I’ve got better things to do:  like play “Bejeweled.”

 

Last night, though, I was playing on my phone when Miriam watched the season premiere of “Dance Moms.”  Now, if you don’t know the basic plot of reality show “DM” here’s the breakdown.  Abusive, screaming, non-compromising, win-at-all-costs, Abby Lee Miller (of the Abby Lee Dance Studio) buts heads repeatedly with the four or five (I can’t remember) moms and their daughters as she tries to groom these girls to be top dancers.  As the seasons have worn on a couple of the prominent mothers and their daughters have dropped out due to Abby’s abusive (both verbally and mentally) coaching of the girls.  ALL the mothers at some point or another have yelled at ALM and she has yelled right back.  ALL of the mothers have threatened to pull their child out of the studio at some point or another.  One mother even did a couple seasons ago, only to come back – tail between her legs – and now one her daughter is one of the best dancers.

 

As the formatting of the show goes, each episode focuses on a dance recital, they get the “pyramid” treatment (to show who did the best and who did the worst), given their assignments in regards to their respective dances (solos, group dances), rehearse, go to the competition and, most likely, win.  And, I guess, that makes the week long yelling and screaming worth it in the end…or does it?

 

Abby Lee Miller has parlayed the success of this show into two other shows, one a dance competition and another a “help me fix your studio” show. Both, you can be rest assured, show Abby in her typical yelling light.  If it’s not “in your face” than what’s the point?  If it’s not a car wreck?  Then why watch?

 

Ahh, but there’s a twist to this season.  They’re playing up the fact that ALM is getting sued by a former parent.  Papers are being filed and ALM is upset.  WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN?!  Much like the modified semi-truck barreling 60 mph towards two rows of unsuspecting cars – what’s going to happen?!

 

It isn’t so much the plotting that I found interesting.  And I’ll admit that they’re shoving a week’s worth of footage into 42 minutes (and 10 of that is mostly performances) so there’s always the question of editing – what they’re choosing to show besides what they’re NOT choosing to show – but I digress.  What plotting I found interesting was the response of the mothers in last night’s show to the law suit against ALM.  The response was basically:  “This is an attack on our daughters and we have to fight.”  Really?  Is it an attack on your daughters?  Or is it an attack on ALM?

 

ALM is now a brand.  A brand she’s put out on three different shows and multiple appearances on other TV shows.  She’s rolling in the money and it doesn’t surprise me that there is a lawsuit against her – but I don’t even know what the lawsuit is about (nor do I think the other mothers know either - see the end of this blog for more info about the lawsuit(s)).  But there was a quick move by one of the mothers (the most intelligent of the bunch in my opinion by the way) to just say that this is an attack against them.

 

I harken back to a couple years ago when assistant college football coach Jerry Sandusky was found guilty of sexually molesting boys.  A lawsuit was filed against the school and Jerry and people were incensed.  Not so much that this guy was a habitual child molester and left a wake of victims in his hellish path – but how it affect the school?  The football program?  The other students?  This wasn’t an attack on Sandusky – this was an attack on the SCHOOL!  These people were, in my opinion, taking the same opinion that the mother is taking in this lawsuit against ALM.

 

Now, I know, comparing ALM’s coaching methods to a pathetic human being like Jerry Sandusky might be a bit of a stretch but what I’ve seen in terms of ALM’s handling of children (and some of them very young) is abuse.  Mental and psychological abuse.  It may not be sexual abuse or physical abuse but it certainly pushes the many envelopes of mental and psychological abuse.  Maybe this lawsuit is really about that?

 

Certainly, though, ALM has the best interests of the girl’s at heart…right?  She just wants to make them better dancers (and win more competitions) and she’s just “preparing them for the hard road of professional dance.”  Sorry, I call bullsh*t on that.  THESE ARE KIDS.  And there are certainly ways to get your point across than yelling, screaming, insulting, pitting one against the other, etc.  Like, I don’t know, making one of the dancers bark during a performance…really?  Or having the kids rehearse and rehearse and rehearse and then just not do the performance after all – while, of course, chastising another dance instructor when she pulled a dance at the last moment.

 

My overall problem with this thinking is that I do not see the roots of ALM’s success.  Oh, sure we HEAR about how she’s coached a number of Broadway dancers but have we seen any of them come and talk about how they survived the same years of mental and verbal abuse and how that prepared them for the big time (maybe they did an episode or two about this and I just missed it as I was reading my paper and not paying attention).  My point is that there’s no track record to justify this type of behavior towards kids!  (Note:  one dancer now has her own show but is that because of ALM or in spite of ALM?)

 

Look at another reality TV star and his multiple shows:  Gordon Ramsey.  He’s like the Benedict Cumberbatch of Fox Reality TV.  On his show “Hell’s Kitchen” he berates and verbally and mentally abuses the contestants but there are some subtle differences.  The biggest one is that these are adults.  In his show “Masterchef Junior” – he deals with kids in a constructive thoughtful way to push them to give their best.  Yes, one moment in the last season you could see him holding back from his normal gruff persona but he was still under control when it came to kids.  Another difference is that you can’t deny his success – multiple restaurants all around the world.  Michellin awards.  He is tops in his field.  And, finally, the people he propels and pushes go on to run his restaurants – or work in his organization.  There’s an actual pot of gold at the end of this obscenity filled rainbow.  ALM can’t guarantee an iota of that to her young charges.


Oh, and one other "cringe inducing moment" was at the end of the competition where Abby Lee Dance Studio won yet again, the MC came up and talked about how wonderful Abby Lee is and brought her up on stage to show her all the love.  Imagine if someone did that with Jerry Sandusky after his years of abuse.

 

I’ve been a “Dance Dad” and was on the board of a local dance company for a number of years.  Though I know some of the moms had issues with the director of the company – those concerns where left in the board room.  And, trust me, if that director verbally and mentally abused my child like ALM does to these girls?  I may have sued, too.

Oh, and here are the details of the lawsuits: 

A lot of last season and last night’s show were under a legal cloud. Former Dance Mom Kelly Hyland and her daughters Paige and Brooke first filed a $5 million complaint against Miller and the show’s producers Collins Avenue Entertainment in mid-February last year. That nine-claim complaint, which included an assault claim, came out of a November 22, 2013, faceoff between Miller and the elder Hyland over the “bullying and insulting” way the former was treating the daughters on the show. With the younger Hylands looking on, the two women screamed at each other, with Miller lunging forward and Hyland then slapping her. In typical reality TV style, the incident was shown on the series last year.
Paige Hyland filed her assault charge against Miller in October. On November 17, LA Superior Court Judge Ruth Kwan threw out the defamation and emotional distress claims. The breach-of-contract claims against Collins Avenue can still move ahead.