C’MON DOWN!  YOU ARE THE NEXT (potential) CONTESTANT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT!

Michelle loves “The Price is Right.”  LOVES IT.  She also loves old people.  She desperately wanted to get on the “The Price is Right” when Bob Barker hosted it – but she was too young and then he retired at the age of 94 (or whatever) and Drew Carey took over.  Though the dream of meeting Bob had died, the dream of being on the show stayed alive.

When we had talked to the kids about a trip to Disneyland in early 2012, I threw out the idea that maybe we could try to get on “The Price is Right.”  I figured that it would be nearly impossible.  The show has been on seemingly since the Truman administration and it is watched by millions.  Getting tickets would be akin to breaking into North Korea.  Still, she wanted to try and get on the show – so I started investigating.

On the “Price is Right” website, when you sign up for tickets you have three choices:  “Priority,” “Regular” and “Standby.”  Since I knew when we would be leaving/arriving, I dove on the first chance I got and signed up for four “Priority” tickets.  Again, I’m thinking that there’s got to be a random drawing, there’s got to be a trick, there’s got to be SOMETHING that doesn’t make it this easy.  But easy it was.  We got the okay, printed out our tickets, and placed them with the other paperwork we were creating for the trip.

Note:  There are two tapings per day of the show.  One at 12:30 p.m. and one at 4 p.m.  To participate, you have to be at the show 4 HOURS prior to taping as they have to process you, interview you and...that’s it.   Of course if you want to get in line and get a good spot...you’ve got to get there EARLIER than four hours.  I didn’t want us to have to get up at 6:30 in the a.m., to drive in rush hour traffic from Anaheim to CBS Studios to be there early enough to get a good place in line at 8:30 in the morning.  That seemed more a headache than anything.  Arriving at 10 a.m. to be there by noon for a 4 p.m. taping...that seemed more logical.

The night before the show, though, we got an e-mail from the ticket people saying that we were ‘guaranteed tickets’ to the show as long as we were there by noon.  And, if we were running late, to give them a call.  Knowing this, we realized that we didn’t have to leave the hotel at 9 to be there by ten, we could leave the hotel at 10:30 and be there easily by 11:30.  Simple.  We had the GPS.  We had the rental car all gassed up and ready to go.  What could go wrong?

As we drove through the streets of Los Angeles, we soon realized that there were a handful of cops on every corner.  Each one had “zip-tie” handcuffs and it was at that moment I realized we were driving through L.A. on May 1^st.  The police had successfully blocked off all streets surrounding the police department.  They had also blocked off all the easy access to where we needed to go.

Delayed now by multiple orange cones – we had to figure our way out of it (and sometimes the GPS was no help at all).

By the time we were finally heading on the road we needed to be on – it was going to be pretty close to noon when we arrived.  Miriam quickly called the phone number and told them that we were almost there.

We found the parking garage and ran to get in line and made it with about 5 minutes to spare.  Out of the eventually 304 people they number and let in, we were numbers 226 through 229.  So we weren’t COMPLETELY at the end but...we were close.

Once we were given our numbers – we were instructed to stay in numerical order – and shuffled off to what can best be described as a “holding area.”  It was covered with a snack bar and a gift shop and a photo booth where someone would graciously take photos and then photo shop a set piece (the wheel) or make it appear you’re on stage.   Only $20 to remember this special occasion of standing in a line.

Then, slowly and surely, the line started to move.  Barely.  The mix of people was quite interesting.  From sorority girls, pregnant women, old people in wheelchairs and walkers, groups all decked out in same shirts (we had the same type of shirt ourselves).  And then, now that you’re stuck with 225 and 230 on your left and right – you get to chatting and knowing them.  Who knows – you may be talking to a potential showcase winner!

After an hour of filling out paperwork and waiting, you begin to move some more.  Now there’s an attendant (all dressed in snappy blazers) writing out each person’s name.  JUST ONE.  Here’s an idea.  Cut an hour off the wait time and have TWO people do it...

Sadly, what made the waiting a bit unbearable was simply that there was nothing much to do.  No TVs, no reading material, no phones.  Well....no phones for US.  Even though every document expressly says:  NO PHONES, NO CAMERAS!!  There were dozens of people talking on phones, or texting, or taking photos.  WHA???

Once you got your name – you at least felt that it was more real.  Still, as Nick and Michelle said, they won’t believe it’s real until they’re sitting in the audience.

After the name giving, the line slowly moved through the photo booth.  Every few moments you’d hear a “YEAH!!”  As a group would be posing for their photo and pretending to be excited.  It was about the pinnacle of excitement in this first part holding area.

It was also in this holding area where Miriam turned to me and surmised that this was what it must have been like for the Jews to be marched off to trains during WWII.  Comparing waiting in line at CBS Studios to win crappy prizes to the Holocaust is a biiiiiiiit of a stretch, I will admit.  Still...your mind has a tendency to wander, that’s for sure.

After that holding area, we were moved to yet ANOTHER waiting area.  Long benches.  Where another jacketed attendant went through and took photos of each person.  Then, in 15 person clumps, we were stood up in front of a gentleman who would then “interview” us.  Now when I had heard that we’d be waiting for four hours and be interviewed, I figured it would be akin to hearing your name, shaking a hand, going in a small room, answering 5 to 10 questions and then “move along.”

Instead, what happens is that you stand and the gentleman greets every person, asks them maybe one question (“what do you do?”) or two and then...that’s it.  So when the man asked me what I did, I didn’t think “working in records at a law firm” was that exciting.  I told him that I was an “unproduced screenwriter.”  Of course, now thinking about it, you can’t throw a dead cat and not hit an unproduced screenwriter in Hollywood.  “Working in records” in Hollywood is probably infinitely more exciting than “unproduced screenwriter.”  D’OH!!

So after THAT hour or so, you then get moved to the THIRD waiting area.  This one is after you pass through security where they take all electronic devices (of course why they don’t tell you this in any of the paperwork is beyond me).  Kindle handed off, we’re in the third holding area.

Note:  All the electronics are place in this huge crate.  I can just imagine the person whose job it is to protect this stuff sits there until we’re done with phones ringing, vibrating, etc.

This third area has televisions showing you an old episode of “Price is Right” and then an introductory video done by the announcer.  While you’re standing in this line, a person comes down with a cart selling overly priced snack foods and drinks.  You don’t want to drink too much because in Holding Area 1 and Holding Area 3, there are bathrooms.  In Holding Area 2 (interview area) there are no bathrooms.  When you’re in Area 3 – there’s a mad scramble to the bathrooms which means long lines outside the women’s room.  It got to the point where women were going ahead and using the men’s room (causing Nicholas to come out with a curious look on his face).  And, though they’re selling snack foods and such, there are big signs saying:  NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THE STUDIO.  If you buy that $6 bag of trail mix, you better shove it in quickly because you have no idea when they’re going to call you in.

Miriam, beyond the Holocaust reference at this point, looks at her watch.  “I thought this was supposed to start at 4 p.m.?”  Well, technically, yes, it’s supposed to start at 4 p.m. but the simple reality is that they can start it whenever the hell they want.  It’s not like we’re paying for tickets and we sure as hell can’t leave now.

Finally after 4:15 we get called into the studio.  What was interesting about this – is that they already knew where they wanted us.  As we were referred to as “the family” they put is three rows behind contestants’ row.  We’ll be on camera quite a bit – even if we don’t get up to win potentially big ticket prizes.  In hindsight, I think that the other workers (in their snappy jackets) are doing a lot more observing and note taking while we slog through these long lines.  Why else would they have any idea where to put us?  It’s far more calculated than one probably thinks.

Once the “show” started the crew did a great job finding all the energy that was sapped from 304 people.  And the chance of potential prizes has a way of waking people up.

A young man rallies the crowd with large arm waves while three cameras record all the action on stage and a dolly-cam goes over the crowd and onto the stage.  I only saw one female worker and she looked a lot like Ellen Page.  Her job was to corral cords as the cameras moved in and out and back and forth.

The stage is surprisingly small and the walls around the studio are actually fabric.

Drew Carey came out and is EXTREMELY personable, funny and endearing.  That’s a man I’d like to have a beer with.  During the “commercial” breaks Drew would tell jokes, talk to the audience, banter, dance and just have a great time with everyone.  For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine Bob Barker doing that.

The show continued just like you see on TV but the noise in the audience is deafening.  Yelling, screaming, cheering, etc.  You can’t hear the bids.  You can barely hear yourself.  Lucky for us young assistant director had the job of holding up your name on a card – because you can’t hear your name called, either.

The show ran smoothly to a point.  They had to re-cue a couple things, and do a voice-over or two but, all-in-all, it went almost like clockwork.  And a lovely lady won cash and prizes valued over $26,000.  You know, I’d wait outside for four hours to win $26,000.

After the show was over and the nine fellow line holders had been processed, they drew one name out of a bowl to win $100 and a Wii “Price is Right” game.  A man who had been dealing with his walker bound mother all day won.  He deserved it.

Off to the car we went where I called Melinda, my manager, to see if we could visit.  My hope was that we’d visit for 10 minutes and be on the street by 6 p.m. and back to the hotel at 7 p.m. to take advantage of free beer, wine and food.  Melinda, though, had to cancel due to illness and we jumped in the car and drove off in hopes of said beer, wine and food.

GPS, though, had different plans and took us BACK through downtown where – not only did they still had streets closed off – they now had added rush-hour traffic to contend with.  There was no way we’d be getting free beer, wine and food tonight.  Where’s the nearest Denny’s?

After a dinner at Denny’s we finally returned to the hotel room at 9 p.m.  10:30 a.m. to 9 p.m.  That’s a long day but, in the end, worth it.

We'll have to see on May 22nd how much we're in the show.  Should be fun.