What the hell is Quinoa?

Losing weight is simple.  Eat less and exercise more.  The bottom line is that if you’re eating 1,500 calories a day but burning 1,600 calories a day, you’ll lose weight.  Simple.  But...life can get complicated.

                                 Note:  SUPREME Nutrition

 Recently I started a new work-out routine:  The “Supreme 90!”  It was a 10 DVD set for $4 at Big Lots.  I figure that I’ll get my $4 worth out of it.  And, having done it now for two weeks – I can say that it’s challenging, sweat inducing and, golly, fun.  Each work-out is about 40 minutes and when I’m done I’m usually dripping with sweat (ewwww) and feeling a nice endorphin rush.  Not only does it come with the 10 DVD collection, it also comes with a poster and an eating plan.  The host reminds you at some point during your work-out:  “Don’t forget the eating plan – you want to get ripped – it involves both the exercises AND the eating plan.”

I have a simple rule when it comes to recipes.  I read until they either put in an ingredient I don’t know or don’t have or, usually, both.  At that point I don’t want to waste the time and energy to go purchase whatever godawful thing I’m supposed to go buy to make whatever.  I don’t have chick peas, I don’t have parsnips, I don’t have tilapia.

  Tilapia!  You can almost just smell the rotting fish...can't you?

While waiting to go to dinner last night, I decided to look through this meal program that came with the Supreme 90.  Right up front, they have a “shopping list” for me to look at.  Simple.  I just have to go out and buy...bison, venison, Kifel, pumpkin oil, quinoa, etc.  Excuse me?

I glance at the meal plan.  One of the meals I’m supposed to eat involves five or six egg whites.  Seriously?  I give myself 30 minutes, or so, to shower, dress and eat breakfast in the morning and I’m supposed to split egg whites from yolks AND cook them up?  And that is in addition to doing the first thing I’m supposed to do in the morning and that’s drink four glasses of water.  Seriously.

What happened to the simple:  “eat less, exercise more?”

So not only am I supposed to find Kifel in the dairy department...I think...I’m supposed to find quinoa (which I think is pronounced:  KEEN-wa) up at my local grocery store.

Quinoa!  In its "toss at the back of the head of the kid you like" state.

Here’s what gets me, though, is that the rules keep changing.  Used to be that you weren’t supposed to eat eggs because of their massive amounts of cholesterol, but that, I guess, is due to the yolks – you can eat the whites all you want.  Eating oatmeal is good for you....but wait...it’s NOT.   You have to eat STEEL CUT oatmeal.  Really?  And let me guess:  Cheap oatmeal = $1 a container.  Cheap steel cut oatmeal = $4 a container.  And is there that much difference after all?

Let the battle begin!

There was a time when the mantra was that you needed to eat more salad.  Okay, salad, good.  I like salad with a little French dress---oh, I’m not supposed to put the dressing on.  And then the ice-burg lettuce was suddenly bad for you.  But it’s a SALAD!  No, no, that TYPE of salad is bad for you.

High-Fructose Corn Syrup v. Sugar.  Margarine v. Butter.  Paper v. Plastic.  It’s enough to make anyone crazy.  Oh, and that better not be bleached refined sugar, either.  Or Salt v. Iodized Salt v. Sea Salt.

Supreme 90 plan?  Pumpkin oil.  Where the hell am I supposed to find pumpkin oil?  And, again, one quart safflower oil = $2.  One quart extra virgin olive oil = $8.  One quart pumpkin oil?  $20?  I don’t know – I’ve never had a need to buy pumpkin oil.

You just want to take a swig...don't you?

I don’t know if I want to get “ripped.”  I don’t know if I want to have “guns.”  I don’t know if I want to get “toned.”  I do know that I want to eat whatever the heck I want to eat as long as I’m also doing exercise to counteract the amount of caloric intake.  You see:  SIMPLE!