Turn of Phrase...

We’ve all heard the saying:  “Stick and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”  And we all have been hurt by the various names we’ve been called.  Words are very very powerful and when they shift their meaning or become something we’re not expecting…what then?  Gay used to mean happy (and still does, I’m sure, in certain circles).  Still I can’t listen to the lyrics “don we now our gay apparel” and not think of mesh shirts and tight rainbow shorts.  But, you know, that’s on me.  It’s not on the lyricist, it’s not on who’s speaking – that’s on me and I’ll own it.

I tell the story of the time I came into the tail end of (ha!) of the Westminster dog show (or some such show) and the final dog had won.  The reporter is then interviewing a judge who stands there saying:  “Well, you know, she’s one of the finest bitches we’ve had to date.  I mean an all out perfect bitch.  Just wonderful.  Now I’ve seen a number of bitches who haven’t measured up to her…”  And she went on to say bitch about 400 more times and I’m laughing so hard tears are coming out of my eyes.  Again, I fully admit, that’s all on me.  ALL ON ME.  It’s not her doing.  She’s speaking the Queen’s English and I’m wallowing around in the mire of Jethro’s slang.

Words.  Words.  Words.  You see quotes about words, too.  Much like the above with “sticks and stones.”  These quotes (or memes) are found on Facebook and are meant to hit us square between the eyes and fill our hearts.  But I want to take away just the concept of words for a moment and look, instead, at phrasing.

It’s one thing to say the word “love.”  It’s a nice word.  Good.  Four letters.  Two consonants, two vowels, well balanced.  But put that word into the phrase:  “I love you.”  It takes on whole new meaning.  Expand that out to “I love you…as a friend.”  It takes on a nearly opposite meaning.  So as important as individual words are – I challenge you dear reader to look instead not at the word – but at the phrasing behind it.  Take the word love and add a few words around it and what have you got…?  Really.

Miriam, my lovely wife, has a great way of phrasing things (to her – not to me).  There are things called conversations – we have them all the time.  Then there are things called arguments – which we have rarely.  Often times, though (note the word often there), in a fit of a bit of anger – Miriam will say:  “You always do---- .”  Or  “You never do---- .”  And this stops me.  Now it may very well be that I always dump the trash but never put the other garbage bins into the main trash (like I should) but when you’re in the throes of an argument and someone uses words like “always” or “never” – it immediately makes me pause.  I think to myself:  “Do I ALWAYS do that?”  “Do I NEVER do that?”  It’s very rare that you ALWAYS do something or that you NEVER do something – but by using this certain phrasing I’m checked out.  I’m in another world.  I’m thinking about that instead of the person who is pointing their finger at me and the soap soaked sponge that I “never rinse out” or the glasses in the dishwasher that I “always put in wrong.” (You see, above I wrote “often times” – didn’t  say EVERY time or...)

Does Miriam have a point?  She may very well have…but by now the point is now being lost because I’ve become defensive and am not listening.  So try these two different phrases:  “When you take out the kitchen garbage, go ahead and dump the other garbages in there, too – that way you can do it all in one trip.”  Or:  “You NEVER put the other garabages in the kitchen garbage!  Why do you ALWAYS forget to do that?!”  Which one is better?  Certainly they both get their points across but...in one I’m immediately defensive and have checked out mentally while the other I may be more aware or more open...or I may just forget and never do it or always forget or whatever...

The words “Calm” and “Down” are pretty good words.  Both four letters, but there’s a skew in terms of the vowel v. consonant ratio.  Still, separately they’re just fine.  But...put them together?  Early on in my relationship with Miriam, and this may have happen pre marriage but I distinctly remember telling her to calm down and she told me to “never ever tell her to calm down again.”  I think those words have exited from my vocabulary.

Often, though, it’s the word you choose that make a true difference.  Of course this is obvious but I’m not talking about saying “I love pizza” v. “I like pizza.”  I’m talk about buzz words, hot button words, words that have more depth – history – gravitas to them.

At one point when I worked at Heller, my team and I got really good at figuring out when the free lunches came available (see previous blog about the free lunches).  It got to the point where we had secretaries (who often ordered the lunches) giving us a “heads up.”  “Hey, Matt, it’s a litigation attorneys meeting today – I ordered pasta.”  “Cool.”  I would respond and then get the word out to my staff and we’d be on high alert for 1 or 1:15 when the lunch would be over.  But, as I wrote in the previous blog, the office services manager was having a BIG issue with us – couple this with the fact that the receptionist was lying to her that we were running back and forth between conference rooms – balancing four plates piled high while ingesting foot long sandwiches in one bite – she had her eye on us.  But it went beyond that.  She started talking to secretaries about us.  She was undercutting our network of lunch moles who were happy to give us a heads up.  And she was pissed.

Here’s the thing, though.  We abided by every rule and regulation that was put before us.  Yes, we love our free lunch – but we’re not stupid – and I knew my staff and I knew they abided by the rules.  But that wasn’t good enough for her.  She was CERTAIN that we were still stalking and gorging.  Of course HR had to be brought in and a finger was wagged in our general direction and we, once again, said it wouldn’t happen again – and it wasn’t happening anyway...

Then I realized something.  I realized that we were be harassed by the Office Services manager.  The fact that she was creating a “new set of rules” for us and going after our friends and secretaries to stop talking to us (one secretary told us she came to her and told her “stop talking to the records department about lunches”).  When I approached Human Resources and used the word harassed instead of “bothered” or “bugged” or “annoyed” – that perked up HR’s ears.  It’s one thing to bug someone – it’s another thing to harass someone and, my mouth to God’s ear, we were being harassed for really no reason.

It wasn’t long before things were hosed down and cooler head prevailed.  But I had to go THERE.  I had to change the wording.  I had to change the phrasing to get my point across very clearly.  Suddenly, by a change of word or phrase, things were different.

In looking at the state of this country – I can’t help but wonder how we got to the point where we place people who are obscenely wealthy on such platforms that we, basically, worship them.  The Oprahs, the Trumps, the Rockefellers, the owner of Papa Johns, the Walton family of Walmart, etc.  These are some people who make a GAJILLION dollars a year and instead of a society that says – “You know, it’s better for you to live in a 20 room house with a 10 car garage and a moat and make $10,000,000 a year instead of living in four 20 room houses, with 40 car garages and make $100,000,000.”  Think just for a minute how much more success the Walton Family, and the Walmart infrastructure would have if they just decided to cut their pay by, say, 90%.

Take a look at their family’s wealth as of 2012 – according to Forbes:

• Christy Walton and family US$25.3 billion^[2]
• Jim Walton US$23.7 billion^[2]
• Alice Walton US$23.3 billion^[2]
• S. Robson Walton US$23.1 billion^[3]
• Ann Walton Kroenke US$3.9 billion^[2]
• Nancy Walton Laurie US$3.4 billion^[2]

Just how much money should one person truly have?

Just so we’re clear – because it’s kinda run together.  Those are BILLIONS.  BILLIONS.  A combined wealth of 102 BILLION dollars.  I will say that probably most of that is stock options or what not but I could probably think they could survive just as well on $100 million, oh, hell, $500 million than $25.3 billion or $23.7 billion.  Heck, how about you keep 5 Billion and send the other 20 billion back into the workers of Walmart?  You know how this would help our country?

Good times!

Bad times!

 Of course the conservatives (and others) would say that this is socialism, a distribution of wealth, etc.  I would tend to agree – except for the very fact that these folks got to their 102 BILLION on the backs of the middle class.  Not giving them good healthcare (guess who pays for the  healthcare they don’t get – you and me Joe Taxpayer), paying them poor salaries so they need assistance (guess where that assistance comes from – you and me Joe Taxpayer), etc. etc. etc.  They made their billions by pushing every envelope and exploiting every loophole and much of what is left over because they don’t pay people a decent wage – or in the extreme wiped out entire communities (see my Going Out of Business commentary) and those unemployment/welfare/government assistance programs, etc. are paid for by you and me.  C’mon, Christy.  Live off of $5 billion and give the other 20 billion back to your workers.  How ‘bout it Jimbo, want to live off of $3 billion and put the other 20 billion into eradicating poverty?  How’s about you give that a try....

One Chart

Another chart with more words and statistics.

 But here’s the deal.  We let this all get a pass because not only do we think it’s OKAY.  We think it’s the AMERICAN WAY.  As if Joan and Ward Clever were just waiting for a moment to invest in Apple and become millionaires overnight.  That somehow it’s just fine for them to horde money and have vast amounts of wealth and let the American Taxpayer die by a million cuts.

What of those “overnight” millionaires?  As much as the wealth of the Walton family is obscene, at least they created a company that hires people and puts people to work all over the world.  I can give them a pass, in a sense, for that because they truly did start from the ground up and now have a large Gross Domestic Product than many small countries combined.  The true villain in this whole equation is the banker/day-trader/stock broker.  The person who makes  a million on a flip of a market term.  A person who makes a million on a tricky investment.  These people, truly, are the scum of the earth.

When Hewlett Packard got started in their garage – they made a product which had to be tested, manufactured and sold.  There’s some “skin in the game.”  There’s risk – massive risk – both financially and physically.  Anyone who dreams up the next invention deserves props for getting there.  You build a better mousetrap and all that jazz...  But these investment brokers/traders/bankers, what not, they don’t create anything.  They’re not creating a product which puts people to work.  They’re not creating the next “new thing” that is going to bring customers to their door and input money back into the monetary network.  They’re manipulating facts and figures and creating lies upon which they can make more millions with one phone call and one push of the button.

But...where is the outrage?  Where are the angry hordes?!  Where is the shame?  At what juncture did these people get where it’s seemingly okay to rob people blind legally and illegally?

Where this turn of phrasing and choice of words comes down to is simply that we, as a nation, as a people, need to rephrase our acceptance of massive wealth.  Either by paying your staff so little that the American taxpayer needs to compensate or by manipulating the markets to the point where you can destroy an economy?  We need to find the words.  We need to find the comparisons.  We need to find the way to speak the anger and frustration in a way that makes clear and rational sense to whoever hears it.  And we need to do it now.

Love you all...as a friend.